Resistance and a New Commitment to Self — 12 Comments

  1. I think I resist because I’m scared – of changing, of what’s coming… and in truth, when I stop myself because I’m afraid something is going to happen, it’s already happened and the stopping is my attempt at not acknowledging what I know…

    • Oh yes – I’m scared! You hit the nail on the head. I absolutely don’t want to be dealing with this situation, AND also want to support my parents and make sure they are safe, cared for, and respected as individuals. Thanks for your comment, Laura.

  2. Resistance to ease is something I am very familiar with as well. If we let go,and permit ourselves to do the very thing that may be in our best interest, then we are committing to that plan of action. I often see that as replacing something else, something that indeed may be a wiser, but untested choice. Getting into action, whether the course changes down the road, is the only way my self-care progresses. If I don’t move forward, nothing else does as well.

  3. Such an open and thought provoking post. It must be really hard being so far away from your parents. I hope it helped (a bit) to get your thoughts out to the group. I absolutely agree on the therapeutic effect of writing. If I get “writers block” I sometimes throw in “how am I feeling” which can tease out something I was blocking. I also use a structured thinking technique called GoMAD, once I’ve used that on an issue I know there’s no more that thinking can help. If the thought still keeps coming up I try to be mindful and accept it.

    • Thank you, Kevin. Getting my thoughts out – and some of them in public in this blog, for instance – is always helpful, but not easy. It involves really looking at them – if you know what I mean! The GoMAD technique sounds intriguing! And I was also worried that this post was a bit more rambling than my usual ones, but it seems to have struck a chord.

  4. Commented earlier on your fb-page, but want to elaborate my comment a bit. I really recognize this resistance inside myself and I’ve often wondered why I have a resistance towards things that do me good. I’ve always understood it as some sort of self-sabotaging, a rather depressive way of looking at it. Your text gave me a complete new angle on this – if it’s interpreted as resistance towards establishing new, better habits, there is so much more one can do about it! It’s a constructive, dynamic way of seeing, where you look upon yourself as an active subject, able to choose what’s good for you, to allow it. Thanks for sharing this, Imogen! ❤️

    • Oh, that’s so interesting, Borit. I think my resistance – to the writing in this case – really came out of not wanting to truly look at the situation I’m facing, BUT if the free-wiring habit had already been truly established it would have been a no-brainer to do it – like brushing my teeth. I’ve been practicing Constructive Rest so long now, it’s an integral part of my day, and it is truly exceptional when I miss. Your comment has caused me to think that it would be ideal to establish good self-care habits when we’re not under a lot of stress, so that we don’t have to decide to do them (or are less likely to resist them) when we need them most. Thank you.

      • Oh yes, you’re right! That’s truly caring for your soul, as well as your body, health care in the widestand deepest sense. I must add that this is such a beautiful thing with social media and internet, to be able to discover and connect with people and have lovely, encouraging and thought-provoking conversations! Just love it when I get a completely new perspective like this, gives me so much to keep on working with.

        • I agree. We only tend to hear and talk about the negatives of social medial (which exist, for sure), but there is so much I have found rewarding about the experience, including conversations such as these. Thanks again.

  5. Just reading this I realized the reason I am writing so much less on Gratitude day is not because I am not grateful,and can express it, it is the difficulty in admitting there is some sort of ease in my body! A habit of assuming as normal a state of dis-ease! There is no doubt in my mind that you have to stop old habits before new habits can emerge. FM said as much in a number of different ways. “Stop doing the wrong thing and the right thing will do itself” is one.

    And I’m sure brute force will power will get us nowhere. But with tools like constructive rest and writing, we’re on our way. Thank you Imogen for sharing this!

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