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How Can You Care for Yourself While Caring for Others? — 4 Comments

  1. Hi Imogen,
    Thanks very much for this. I just skimmed it at the time, thankfully enough of it stuck. You know that implicit expectation that tomorrow will be roughly like today? My mum fell and broke her hip late at night. My autopilot gets on with the job, but I tend to forget about eating and so on. When your post came to mind I cancelled some “must do” commitments – of course people are very understanding- which gave me some space. She’s in hospital now which is at least more predictable. The tough stuff for me right now is not the physical caring, but imagining myself in her shoes. And forward planning for how to manage after the op.
    Thanks for another really caring post.
    Kevin

    • Hi Kevin,
      I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. I think one of the most disconcerting things for me in the whole situation, which you too may be experiencing, is the role reversal. The fact that YOU are imagining yourself in her shoes, and planning (or imagining) how to manage later, is the complete opposite of our relationship with our mother as a child – and probably for many years after – for most of us. It’s extremely disconcerting and discombobulating. Know that your mum is very lucky to have such a caring son – to have you. I’m glad my post could offer you something at this time. I wish your mum and speedy and good recovery and all the very best to both of you.

  2. Many years ago when I first started having lessons my Alexander teacher said to me “you can care too much” !!! At first I had no idea what message he was trying to get through to me, many years later I laugh at how out of touch I was with myself. Your blog reminded me of his wise words, I continue to learn something new about myself after each lesson, thank you Imogen.

    • Hi Karen. Yes, I understand exactly what your Alexander teacher was getting at. I’m glad my blog could serve as a reminder of how far you have come! Caring without “caring too much” – that’s what we’re after! 🙂

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