I put my hand in my pocket and my fingers were met by the comforting shape of a conker (that’s a buckeye or nut from a horse chestnut tree for my American readers!). I felt the familiar smooth, hard skin of the conker as it nestled in my hand and felt myself instantly connected with my hometown of Sheffield in the UK, and the dear friends I was staying with when I found it. It warms my heart and helps anchor me in a sense of safety for a moment.

Do you have ways to anchor yourself in the present – ways to give your nervous system a moment of calm, and maybe also a sense of sturdiness or resilience?

For me it seems more important than ever to have ways to anchor myself – to steady and center myself in the face of many stressors from both inside and outside of me. Anchors provide a way for me to be with, yet not be consumed by, any challenges I’m facing.

Like the conker, these anchors are things that help me very much in the moment and that I can turn to at any time.

Here are some ideas for you to help you find anchors for yourself. They are my favorite and most accessible anchors that I turn to often.

The Ground

A very helpful and important anchor for me, and for many of my clients and friends, is the ground. I notice my physical contact with the ground through the soles of my feet. It’s using my sense of touch to get in touch with the meeting between me and the ground. It’s tangible and concrete. Sometimes I may even stamp my feet up and down so I can really feel it, or I wiggle my toes to help me get into my body right here right now.

When I’m stressed and anxious I’m very “in my head.” Thoughts and worries are looping.

Awareness of the ground, and my support from the ground, helps ground me and gives me a little space to be more aware of what I’m thinking about, and in turn that means I exercise some choice about it. I can start asking myself, “Is this something I can do anything about right now?” “Is there an action I can take?” If not, I give myself the freedom to put it aside for now, knowing I may have to go through this process again in just a minute or two!

Breath

Awareness of my breath is a helpful anchor for me as it is for many people. Again, it’s a way to bring me into the present and out of the worry loop for a moment. Just the act of bringing my attention to my breath without any desire to change anything about it inevitably helps my breathing soften and deepen. I find it especially helpful to focus on the outbreath, and if I notice I’ve been holding my breath I enjoy a gentle exhale.

Space

Bringing awareness to the space around me can be anchoring, especially noticing and noting some of the physical attributes of the space or items within the space right here right now. This brings me into the present and tells me I am safe in this moment, right now.

Other Senses

Tapping into our other senses can be helpful. I take a moment to ask myself not only what I can see, but what I can hear, touch, and even smell or taste, is very anchoring in the present moment. Taking a moment to name and note a few things in each category is a helpful way to anchor yourself.

Friends

Friends are, of course, a wonderful and much-needed support. In the moment, just conjuring up in my mind a dear friend can be an anchor. It reminds me that they are there for me and I am not alone.

Hand on Heart

“I’ve got me.” This and other self-compassion gestures, like one hand on my belly and the other on my solar plexus, help anchor me. Holding your own hand can also be helpful. A physical gesture of support to yourself is sometimes more accessible and calming than something more cognitive.

If you are able to think constructively, however, it is definitely worthwhile.

Constructive Thinking

A “constructive thought” can provide me with an anchor in the moment. It brings me back to myself here and now. “I am free to notice ease,” is an example of a thought I turn to often and find particularly helpful. It’s also usually the first potential “constructive thought” I introduce to my students.

Constructive Thinking is a concept from the Alexander Technique and describes a thought that you bring to bear consciously that helps create the conditions where the following become possible:

• Less tension in your body.
• The experience of more ease in the moment.
• Greater regulation of the nervous system.
• Increased mind-body integration.

All this happens in the present moment, and, importantly, can affect the future quality of your experience when done regularly.

You can also pair a constructive thought with another anchor, such as awareness of the ground, my breath, or the space around me. If there’s a thought that you find helpful, practice using it, so it’s available to you in times of stress.

Pause

I’m including the idea of pausing, because it’s by pausing I’m able to choose an anchor. It’s a pause in my thinking, my worrying, my reacting. It’s in the space that the pause creates, that another possibility opens up – for a moment.

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These are some of my go-to’s. And of course, it takes practice and familiarity to be able to call on them easily – but it’s well worth having some up your sleeve. In my ongoing study group members shared their ideas, in addition to the ones I’ve mentioned, of things they use to anchor themselves, including humor and seeing the ridiculous in the situation, having a small object that they can touch or hold that means something to them, like a stone or my conker, and looking at a picture of nature or a loved one, or pet!

What are some of the things that anchor you?