Have you ever found yourself entangled in medical insurance bureaucracy?

If so, you have an idea how stressful that can be, and how much anxiety it can provoke.

Recently I had a mini prescription insurance drama which caused me to feel quite anxious – anxious that I wouldn’t get the daily thyroid medication I need before the previous prescription ran out, and anxious that I wouldn’t have migraine medicine available if and when the dreaded migraine, which I experience sometimes, reared its ugly head.

Trauma awareness educator Shay Seaborne calls this treatment insecurity, and it’s a huge source of stress and anxiety for many people. Thankfully, my experience with it was relatively minor and short-lived. Many deal with this sort of thing, and much worse, on an ongoing basis.

Shortly before my incident I had spoken with Shay about anxiety, and we recorded two short videos about it, talking about why anxiety is actually an important coping mechanism, and what you can do when you’re feeling anxious. Following these discussions, I wrote a blog post on 12 Things You Can Do When You’re Feeling Anxious.

But when push came to shove, was I able to follow my own advice?

The Successes!

One piece of advice I recommended was to “take action.” Anxiety’s primary purpose is to let us know that something is wrong so we can act, and I did take what actions I could: I called my drug store and spoke to the pharmacist to clarify what was going on and get advice, I called CVS Caremark (my insurance provider) to find out what was happening and what I needed to do, I requested the prescriptions be mailed through their app as was now being required, I sent a message to my doctor’s office about this change to my prescription, I called my doctor’s office, and I finally went to the drug store to get a temporary, stop-gap prescription. This all took place over several, very anxious, hours. Phew. The feeling of anxiety certainly did spur me into action, and, in this case, it was pretty obvious what sort of actions were needed.

I also moved my body by dancing around with 2 lb. weights for about twenty minutes(!), and later took a walk. Physical activity is an additional way to take action that our bodies tend to understand and is an effective way to help complete the stress cycle.

I was fortunate not to have a fully scheduled work day so I could do all of this.

And while I can’t say I really did it because I was feeling anxious, I also did Constructive Rest. Both this, and a daily walk, are part of my regular routine, which, while not consciously chosen that day as means to help with anxiety, they were immediately accessible because I didn’t have to decide to do them. They are a familiar and normal part of how I look after myself every day.

So I was definitely successful in two areas, but where did I go wrong?

The Fails

Yikes! I did not consciously do any of the other things I recommended!! Not even the pausing and naming to tame it to tame it (though for sure I was aware that I was feeling anxious)!

I did not remember that the anxiety I was experiencing meant I cared about my wellbeing. I did not offer myself self-compassion. I did not consciously use my awareness to help me be present and be in the safety of the here and now. And I didn’t co-regulate with anyone until after the fact when I got together with a friend.

So, is my advice worthless?

NO!

The advice is not about doing everything. That would be impossible for most of us. It’s about having options and a menu of strategies available. Any one of those things can help, and I did at least two.

Biggest Win

Writing this made me realize I did a lot better than I initially thought. Hooray!

More importantly, I recognize that I do know my signals, having practiced, developed, and fine-tuned my self-awareness over the past 25 years. While I didn’t consciously do many of the things on the list, they are part of how I operate most of the time, part of how I function. I could perhaps do better by bringing more of them to bear consciously, but all the practice, practice, practice makes a huge difference.

Having the background understanding and knowledge about anxiety and stress was also important. I understood what was going on. This means I rarely beat myself up for having these feelings any more, and when I do, I catch myself and stop. (If I’m really on my game, I offer myself a little self-compassion, too.)

For whatever reason I am something of a worrier by nature. The skills, understanding, and practices – the foundations of regulation – that I’ve studied and taught for many years now, help me every day, both consciously and subconsciously.

What do you do every day – or regularly – that helps you when the going gets tough?

What new skill, awareness, or strategy would you like to cultivate so you’re better prepared next time you feel anxious?

I welcome your responses. Feel free to leave a comment below.